Tangled Mess
by PoptartsAnUmbrellas
Summary: The war has long since ended and yet the perfect soldier is still fighting a battle. A battle of the heart. When Duo admits what he feels for his long time friend, where does that leave Heero? One shot, 1x2
1. Tangled Mess

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Tangled Mess

UmbrellasAnPoptarts

((Disclaimer: I don't own GW or it's characters, but the story is purely my own))

((Note: This is guyxguy (1x2) so be forewarned, otherwise- enjoy ^.^))

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What you found sure upset you,

never saw it coming did you?

It's easy to be suprised

with both your eyes sewn closed.

An echoing dripping sound flowed like a plague through rooms, the only noise in the otherwise dead silent apartment. It reached every crack and crevice of every room and met the ears of the spacious flats only tenent. Even in his hidden corner of a white walled room he could've heard the sound.

But insted of hearing a leak of water dripping into his plain white sink, he could only hear the troubled thoughts that seemed to enter time and time again into his tired mind. Here, alone, he had sat for the past three days, terribly lost and confused.

For once in his life, the lone, self-sefficiant and perfect soldier had caused himself a great deal of confusion, and something else he'd never felt. In a matter of days he'd caused himself a bleeding wound to the heart, something he'd never before experianced, and in that process he'd wounded someone else. The only someone he'd ever in his life cared about enough to keep around.

After years of loneliness, it was nice, he could begrudgingly admit, to see a friendly face every once and again. But for him, it seemed that once and again fell nothing short of years, except it seemed, for one person that had popped up almost constantly...

Heero dropped his heavy head to his cold, stiff knees and sighed so deeply he felt his lungs expand much larger than usual. There had to be something seriously wrong with him, to have hurt something so beautiful... There had to be something wrong with him, to have run, when he was the perfect soldier. A soldier never ran. There had to be something wrong with him, to feel emotions, when it was a word he'd never even pronounced before. There just had to be somthing wrong with him, he was never suppost to feel so strongly towards one person... ever...

And the thought of hurting that person, just alittle, tore at what he guessed was his heart. _So this is what they call guilt_, he thought vaguely, disdain lacing his thoughts, _this is what they call heartsick... I think I... I think I miss... him..._

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Handled with great precision,

another faultless exectution,

you're the subject of this exhibition,

a willing cadaver, a willing cadaver.

A pained groan ripped itself from his parched throat and he let his head fall back against the bare wall with a hollow thud. This could not be happening... His life had been just fine before that braided menace had come along, bringing a rush of disorder to his perfect life. And yet somehow... somehow he'd liked it...

His deep prussian blue eyes squeezed shut even further, a deep line forming between his dark chocolate brows. After knowing Duo for nearly a decade, after knowing that crazy mess that paraded around in the form of a human for so long, after knowing everything about him, even after all the time they'd spent so close to each other, he'd still run. And he'd ran as fast and far as he could to get away from Duos searching violet eyes.

Because he knew that if Duo had enough time to look into his, he'd definatly find the newly realized... _thing_... that was lurking in the depths of Heero's trouble ridden soul. Yes, a trouble ridden soul was something Heero had always carried with him... and had been hid well.

He'd gone to such great lengths to cover up his soul and heart he'd hurt his best friend in the whole world... And he'd done it purposefully, coldly and with total loss of feeling. Just like the perfect soldier he was trained to be. And yet that deeply hurt, pained expression of Duos played over like a broken record in his mind. The widened, glistening indigo eyes, the slightly agape mouth, and heavily furrowed brows were stuck in his mind like glue to paper.

He'd run away from Duo once a long time ago, his emotions had even started to get the better of the Japanese boy way back then. He'd told himself there was no room for emotions, and that to be around Duo was to feel much to much stirring around in what he thought was an empty heart. But every day he'd been away from his grinning, carefree friend he'd noticed himself staring vaguely out the window more and more. He was lonely... Even then...

So when Duo popped back up into his life he'd acted like strict, diciplined old Heero. But inside his heart smiled and sighed, thankful for some company in the otherwise neglectful world. Even if he didn't know it... It was funny how the world could rush by you without even a passing glance, and it wouldn't bother you in the least, but once just one person stops and takes the time... You just can't live on your own anymore..._ God Duo, why did you have to come back? Why did you have to show up and slowly take me over like that? I never would have hurt you if you would've just stayed the hell away..._

That time, alittle over a year now, Duo had come strolling back into his life. Shinigami had even pretended like nothing had ever happened. He just showed up at his door, two large duffel bags in hand and his huge, trademark grin on his goofy face. And Heero'd just moved out of the way and let him in...

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Scalpled, sutured, made whole again.

These cuts are leaving creases.

Trace the scars, to fit the pieces,

to tell your story, you don't need to say a word.

And for a whole year, Heero had been fighting a determined Duo to let out his long supressed emotions. And yet he'd smiled... now that he really thought about it, not a day went by that Duo _didn't_ make him smile... In fact, not a day had went by in quite a while that he didn't laugh... even if it was really only on the inside.

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no... I am Heero Yuy... I am not_ going to let these silly emotions get the better of me, I've got to... I've got to suck it up... This is nothing... It's _nothing_..._

But Heero could already feel his heart crumbling and felt like his mind really had no control over his emotions anymore and... he was scared. Scared of everything he'd ever supressed. Scared of how easy it had been for Duo to open him up, just like a book. Scared of how his heart could make him feel...

He was damn sure feeling horrible now. What if he never saw Duo again? What if he could never apologize? _Heero Yuy? Apologizing? What the hell is this goddamned world coming to??_

His thoughts were running in a ragged circle but his troubled self didn't seem to care. What if... What if the last thing Duo would remember about him was that day...

_"Hee-chan...?"_

Duos unusually tentative voice broke the silence in the darked room, causing Heero to jerk around in suprise. His eyes caught on Duo, framed by the light pouring in from the living room. He looked so much like an angel then... A beautiful dark angel... An angel of death.

Angrey at himself for thinking about Duo in that way so very often lately, he snapped his thoughts back to reality, "You're interuppting my work Duo..." he said in his quiet, monotone voice.

"I know, I just wanted to talk to you about something..." Duo said softly, making his was slowly across the hard wood floor and lowering himself onto the edge of the carefully made bed.

"Yes Duo?" Heero made himself sound like he didn't care, made his voice hold absolutely no tone, no emotion.

"I, uh... do you think I could talk to you for a minute...? It's ah..." Duo licked his dry lips nervously and let his soft brow furrow further than they already had before finally finishing his sentence, "Important..."

Heero's cobalt eyes softened slightly as he abruptly stood up and sat himself next to Duo on the squishy bed. He was suddenly worried about Duo, about what had made him so worried. What ever it was - No, whoever made Duo look so very sad, they were going to get the life taken out of-

"I... I ah... have something I really need to tell you... I don't think you'll understand and I don't expect you to..." he tore his beautiful eyes away from Heero's nervously and twiddled his thumbs in a very unlike Duo movement.

Heero found himself saying, in a soft voice that was reserved only for Duo, "I've told you before, to tell me this stuff..."

Duo realized that tone, it was the one Heero used whenever he was trying to make him feel better. It was rare but all the more precious. It was comforting and showed how much he'd grown out of his shell over the past year.

Duo glanced up slightly for a minute at a still Heero before finding a nice spot on the floor to stare at with a thoughtful nod. "I know you don't feel the same it's okay, I said before I don't expect you to... But, I... I've always said that the very last thing I'll ever do is lie and I feel like thats exactly what I'm doing..."

God, Duo was rambling and babbling even faster than normal, something was wrong with his friend. Heero took Duos hand in a protective gesture while at the same time a concerned look laced his already worry wrought features. The American was having a very hard time saying something and the only thing Heero could think to do at the moment was help him say it.

"Heero, I have these feelings... I have this one feeling in preticular... That I have to tell you about," Duo paused, his purple-indigo eyes staring vaguely at the corner now, anywhere, it seemed, but Heero, "I know you don't return the feeling but you should know... You need to know how much I... how much I really do love you..."

Heero's mouth went dry in an instant and he broke away then, standing up so abruptly that Duos head snapped up, his tear framed eyes meeting stormy, dark ones. "Duo, you don't _love me..."_

Duo spoke, his voice still soft but even more persistant, "Heero, I know_ what's in my heart, I know that what I feel for you is love." His eyes were pleading with Heero to understand. They were stocked up to the bursting point with emotion. Something Duo was deffinatly good at was expressing his emotions. Those eyes..._

The perfect soldiers calm, collected face changed in a mere instant, his expression not mirroring the strange warm feeling he felt spreading and coating his heart or the confusion suffocationg his brain. But insted his features turned offensive, angery which seemed to sprout from nothing other than insecurity. "Maxwell! What's wrong_ with you?! You don't love me! You _don't_! And I sure as hell don't love you! We don't even have anything near _love_ and we _never_ have! Don't you understand that?!"_

And that's when Duo gave him that look he'd always remember, that deeply hurt expression, almost of betrayal that Duo showcased on his beautiful face. His purple-indigo eyes shimmering brightly with tears and widened in suprise, the slightly parted lips, and heavily furowed brows were the last thing he saw before he ran that day...

Heero saw Duos pained face spread before his eyes another time and for the first time since he sat down, he actually noticed the salty liquid making trails down his own pale cheeks. And for the first time in his entire existance, he didn't care, didn't even bother to try and hold it back. "Do you see this Duo?! Do you see this?! I'm _crying_! I'm crying with _regret_ and _guilt_ for what I did! I'm crying for the lies I told and the heart I broke! I'm crying for my emotions! I'm crying for my goddamned _emotions_!"

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So call off the calvery,

you can't save a wretch like me.

Clean this off with kerosene,

if you can't leave it be, might as well make it bleed.

He was talking loudly, his voice echoing in the near empty space, nothing to stop his pained voice from reverberating off the walls. His anger at himself and his self inflicted pain dripped from every single word he spoke.

"Do hear this Shinigami? I'm sorry! With all my cold heart and bleak soul I'm sorry to have hurt you! _I'm such a callous liar!_" the last words were spoken much above his average tone, liquid still streaming freely from his tightly squeezed eyelashes. 

The oriental boy felt the realization of what his feelings all the way to his core, and suddenly things made much more sense, even if it only happened to hurt his newfound heart even more. Things were speeding up in his mind at break neck speed.

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Scalpled, sutured, made whole again.

Your wires are frayed, can't fire right,

you look better when out of sight,

you were one made to stand up and fight,

there's something better wrong with you.

Your pulse is anemic, you're tired of the fire,

you're bruising to easily, and falling behind,

and no one is waiting for you,

and no one is waiting for you.

So call off the quarantine,

you can't save the rest from me.

Clean this with kerosene,

if you can't leave it be, might as well make it bleed.

His mind was wondering over all the memories and everything that'd ever happened between the two and his painful realizations came to be proven fact. More tears squeezed out from between his black lashes, "I've hurt the only person I've ever... The only person I've actually loved..."

"Awwww, Hee-chan! I never knew... I never knew you thought those things!"

The bright, framiliarly cheery voice echoed around the sparse room, causing Heero's piercing blue eyes to snap open, only to find said, braided American leaning against the rooms door jam casually. Heero hadn't even heard him come in, but now that he had, he was wondering what to do with himself. How much had the angel of death heard?

He was standing there, a smug grin on his ever happy -go-lucky features, though his indigo eyes were glimmering in the bright sun light from the window. He was happy and... sad?

"I heard it all, saw it all Heero," he said much more softly, grin still in place, but even it had softened, while crossing the room to where Heero sat curled up in one of it's lonely corners, "You're not going to hide anymore, you hear me?"

Duos heart was singing, merrily and loudly with joy. His Heero loved him back. He'd come here, with the intention of finding Heero and finding out if his hunch was right... Evidently it was, and Heero had found it all out on his own. He wanted to cry, but since Heero was crying and he himself had already cried enough in the past couple of days, he figured it wasn't exactly the right time.

But his love for Heero was over flowing at the things he'd admitted... So all those feelings, all those dreams... they weren't for nothing...

Duo pulled a shaking and confused Heero into his lap and wrapped his arms around his protectively, "Shh, it's ok, I'm here Hee-chan... It's ok, I promise..."

"You heard... You heard what I said?" Heero said feebly, letting himself be hugged and cuddled like a childs much loved teddy bear. He wasn't sure but... Was Duo still mad? Did Duo think him a hypocrite for yelling at him for loving when... He, himself had been in love? Since when had he cared?? ..._ Since he'd fallen in love with the beautiful god of death_...

"Did you mean it?" Duo said quietly, knowingly while nuzzeling Heeros soft, chilly neck.

A long pause crossed between them before Heero hesitantly stated in his normal, one worded answers, "Yes."

A tear dropped onto Duos slender neck as Heero rested his weary head against Duos. He'd found out so much over the past few, long days. So much he'd never bothered to know. And now that he did, now that he was surrounded in the safety of Duos lithe arms, he wasn't scared anymore.

"Heero?" Duo said hesitantly after a long while, evidently waiting for Heero to calm down. Not ever wanting to break the feeling of belonging and happiness he felt only so near to Heero.

"Hm?" though it was Heero's normal answer to everything, somehow it sounded warmer, much more careing. Or it could have been his index finger tracing light, endearing circles on Duos back... Either or, Duo thought brightly. He had to admit he liked the change in Heero, as subtle and slight as it was. Heero seemed much more open to touch now that he'd come to terms with his feelings. It used to be, Heero would only hold him in the dead of night, when Duo had dark nightmares and was terrified out of his mind. And way back during the war... Even that didn't seem like such a long time ago now...

"I love you, my pretty Hee-chan." Duo said cheerily, his arms tightening happily around Heeros slender waist. He wanted to talk with Heero about his emotions, he wanted to hear those things again, spoken plainly to his face. But all that could wait. Heero wasn't quite over the scary reality check he'd just had. It was time to just brighten him up now.

"Pretty?" Heero just shook his head, an amused smile tilting up his normally stiff lips and after a moment he replied, ".. I love you too... my beautiful angel of death..." he planted a soft kiss on the crown of a pleased Duos head and sighed.

"Heero?"

The Japanese boy seemed to have to drag himself out of contentment to reply yet again with, "Hm?"

Duo grinned even wider, his face alight with joy, "I'll never leave you and you have to promise to never leave me either."

"Never." was Heero's only reply to that before he placed a kiss soundly on the other boys lips, trying but failing to silence him.

"Never?" Duo said curiously, ever questioning.

"Never ever." Heero said with an air of finality, a smirk appearing on his features. Duo was here, with him. In his arms, and he'd told him he loved him... He finally told him what he'd been feeling all those years in his heart... And he hadn't even known it. He was so glad to have him back, to know he wasn't even mad, "I've loved you so long... I guess that was the reason I left you... I'm so... I'm so sorry about what I said before... I was so afriad I'd never see you again and that's how things would end..."

Duo listened carefully, intently, this was the second time in one day Heero had spoken his heart in more that one sentence. "I was sad... before I realized what was hidden in your gorgeous eyes, and I knew... Atleast, I think I knew," his grin widening, "I'd like to think I knew then. But I guess when I got here and heard you talking, I heard those things, I knew you were coming out of your shell, and I was glad. I could never be mad at that. Just don't ever leave me again."

The other boy merely shook his head slightly and felt his heart lighten. Then he took Duo's chin between his fingers and tilted it up to make him look in the ex-Wing pilots dangerously narrowed prussian blue eyes. "Duo, are you trying to sleep with me? Because if this is all just one of your _stupid_ ploys to get in my boxers, I'm going to rip-"

"Easy Hee-chan, _easy!_" Duo said, a laugh tumbling from his startled lips, "Even though I _do_ want in your pants, nothing I said was untrue. I never lie... Just like I'd be lying to say I didn't want in your pants."

Heero smirked slightly, Duo could always make fun during serious situations. _Better get used to it_. "No, my little dark angel, I'll never leave you alone again. I'll always be here to protect whats mine."

"Then I'm yours, just like I always was." Duo whispered softly, only for his love to hear, because these walls already had enough to talk about.

~*~*~*~*~*~((OWARI))~*~*~*~*~*~

--Hope eveybody who read enjoyed! Review if you liked it! Thanks


	2. Epilogue

Tangled Mess

PoptartsAnUmbrellas

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Epilogue - _Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates…_

"I'd like to propose a toast!" a small blond man perched in a cozy but expensive easy chair raised his glass enthusiastically. Quatre was a sucker for romance, as he's always been. Heero and Duos romance had been something even more intriguing to him because of how long the two had stubbornly refused to admit they had one. _Everyone has a road they have to go down, they just went down theirs a lot slower than… _The Arabian man looked affectionately at the person sitting next to him, _Trowa and I…_

"Aw, Quat, another one…" Duo whined loudly, pout forming on his lips. Christmas time was always a cause for celebration but Quatre had already made three toasts concerning he and Heero. It was getting _embarrassing_.

He opened his mouth to protest again but slapped it shut when he felt his companions lithe arm slip around his shoulder. The braided menace let his formerly complaining lips turn up in a pleased and content smile as he let himself be pulled gently towards Heero. It was so nice to finally be able to snuggle with him. It was something he'd wanted to do for a very long time.

Looking up at the hackers face he found himself looking straight into those incredible cobalt eyes of him. Amazing as they had always been, though they showed more emotion these day. So much more that time like these, just looking in them caused Duos heart to thud a little harder in his chest. His Heero really was something.

A small, happy smile curled up the pilots face as he watched Duo grin up at him and snuggle closer before turning back to Quatre. These were the best days of his life. Every day he spent with the bouncy, loud American was the happiest day he'd ever had. It'd been almost a year now since Duo'd proclaimed his love and ended a long stretch of denial. It was so good to sit here with him and smile. Smiling felt good too, that was something he'd learned from his love. _My love, how easy it is to say that anymore…_ Heero smiled a bit wider and let his eyes focus on Quatre.

"I just want to say," he began, large smile on his boyish face, "That you all are my closet friends and I want to say how happy I am that everyone found their someone."

It was such a mushy speech that Wufei felt his stomach turn to goo. Plain emotion laced the ex-pilot voice, as it always had and it made the Chinese man tighten his fingers around Meilans. In response the black haired girl looked up with a bright smile of her own on her face. _What would I do without her?_ he thought softly, though it was something he'd never admit in words. Definitely not in front of Maxwell. He had refrained from making a joke about he and Yuy the entire evening but it was only because of the promise he'd made to Mei. That was the sole reason, he told himself. But when he looked at them, he couldn't help but smile a little wider.

"And I just want to say, that you all are the cutest couples I've ever seen!" Quatre proclaimed and took a sip of his drink, letting it slide down his throat as he looked at Trowa. _What a wonderful guy… _He smiled brightly as everyone stirred after the comment.

"Geez, didja _have_ to go and say something mushy like that?" Duo groaned lightly in his long talk against the way Quatre always threw something about cuteness in his toasts, "You always make me feel like I'm five."

Heero leaned over and whispered lightly in his ear and for the first time in so long, a pale rose color formed on his cherubic face. At this the former pilot of Wing-Zero grinned mischievously and kissed his boyfriends forehead, causing the blush to spread over the others face.

The others watched the interaction silently and realized just how much Duo had changed Heero, and just how happy he was to be changed. Smiles formed on all that were presents faces and Trowa finally broke the silence, "Present time…"

But Duo didn't hear a word when he looked up at Heero and smiled brightly, one thought crossing through both of their minds, '_Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.'_

But I'm so glad that I got you…

------{(OWARI)}------

[{I think that I'm finished with this story. I might feel an urge later to do a side story about Quatre and Trowa or Meilan and Wufei but I'm not sure. Depends on how I feel about it. I had some thoughts about this and then I watched Forest Gump the other day and I decided that I really liked that analogy and I'd like to use it. So… I did. . If anybody wants me to do any side stories on this, review and let me know. Loud Music and Home Shoppings my main project right now though, so I'd be great if people went to check that out. Thanks much!}]


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